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(no subject) [Sep. 15th, 2013|11:47 pm]



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only ever here when i have no where else ot say what i want to say [Aug. 18th, 2013|09:04 pm]
tonight i learned or maybe reconfirmed two painful truths. I will never be forgivable and holding on so tight to the love you had in the past does nothing good for anyone in the present.
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self indulgence [Apr. 26th, 2013|09:51 pm]
If i could only write poetry. I could make it all feel different. I could make it all look beautifully tragic. I could make someone swoon and day dream and wonder what could have been, but i have nothing to say and it's all just words, words are all i have had and words failed me and words made promises and threats and painted pretty pictures and hinted at things to come that would be full of lust, hope and laughter only to have them all rot and turn venomous. But words are empty promises and easily ignored when the time washes the allure out of them.

I woke up and it all felt like it had always felt, familiar.. everything was right in the world and a phone call would solidify that and then the reality of the situation crashed in and i knew no phone call would ever feel like that again.
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freedom ramblings and other nonsense [Apr. 25th, 2013|12:34 pm]
I'd rather know the ugly truth than believe pretty lies... Is this true though or do we allow ourselves to believe what we want to believe as it's easier to digest and less painful to face?

I know that even if the truth is painful at the time, it's still preferable to believing everything is fine or I just don't have interest in this or that, or it's not you it's me, if in reality everything wasn't fine and it was me all along and i was the cause for the lack of interest in whatever if all those things change as soon as I am out of the equation. Denial is a powerful sedative when dealing with truths that aren't what you want to believe.

"The truth will set you free" but free of what? maybe this is intended to be the Bobby Magee version of freedom.

I do know i am responsible for my own happiness and it's stupid and unrealistic to try to get that from anyone or anything else.

7069_600 picture courtesy of merope3 , something about this just makes me laugh, maybe because it seems fittingly true.
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